tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34079936757284910782024-03-18T21:50:23.978-07:00Diary of a 36th Year (excerpts)carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comBlogger52125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-24507961394049748512009-11-01T11:55:00.000-08:002009-11-01T12:18:35.419-08:00Week 52<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending October 31</span><br /><br />I didn't understand how I just couldn't get back for 3 hours, and I still hadn't eaten. And I couldn't find my shoes.<br /><br />Don't really want to write everything that happened last night.<br /><br />Big Screaming Bear Picture.<br /><br />And is hope a sort of violence too?<br /><br />This "character" type kept yelling "Don't Play Merle Haggard!"<br /><br />"Myra" just happened to have a GPS and said get in I'll drive you there.<br /><br />When you're really suffering you don't ask why, you just survive it.<br /><br />And I've felt an undercurrent of confusion ever since.<br /><br />My mother's dream of unused rooms, 13 children with down's syndrome, and lots of cans of tomatoes. "I have never had a dream with Uncle Joyce in it."<br /><br />"Time is the economy of being."<br /><br />Everything went wrong in the night.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-51319869026954016102009-10-25T14:50:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:46:37.829-08:00Week 51<span style="font-weight: bold;">Week ending October 24<br /></span><br />One tension replaced by another tension.<br /><br />Conjuring up emotional states for the sake of a poetics.<br /><br />All the rest of the night my dreams are consumed with this question.<br /><br />A skipped page.<br /><br />Wishing my whole life could be an atmospheric.<br /><br />A general inquiry when you meant to inquire more specifically.<br /><br />In the future, speaking in past tense about the present.<br /><br />The floor is on the walls.<br /><br />A split second when I could have turned back but I didn't.<br /><br />Being relieved of hours.<br /><br />Those who appear in dreams and those who do not.<br /><br />Eleven minutes to decide.<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-84300030956989279762009-10-18T20:32:00.000-07:002009-10-18T20:52:55.520-07:00Week 50<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending October 17</span><br /><br />Squash soup, striped bread, and three orange slices.<br /><br />I walked to another city.<br /><br />Dreamt a prophetic dream but it was not dreamt by me, and so I can't remember it.<br /><br />The only healing is healing within the body itself.<br /><br />Two birds flying in opposite directions.<br /><br />I felt the hectic energy too much.<br /><br />Sometimes the rain makes you feel bent out of shape, but it is good for you.<br /><br />It turned out to be real but I thought I was having a vision until I got up close.<br /><br /><br />Soda-tax<br /><br />"I'm seeing a whole wall of sugar here."<br /><br /><br />I have to be brave.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-84409042655498499792009-10-11T22:04:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:48:18.905-08:00Week 49<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending October 10</span><br /><br />Everyone covering their eyes.<br /><br />The season has changed.<br /><br />I dreamed I was a seagull and I was teasing the ocean. Dipping down, tapping the water, flying back up. Etc.<br /><br />Feeling split between cities.<br /><br />Her advice is it's like nailpolish.<br /><br />Pretending what I want to be told, I'm being told.<br /><br />Behind the music or in front of the music around the music inside the music. Following the music.<br /><br />Why are angels always in doorways?<br /><br />Saw a pigeon swoop down in BART on the escalator like he's going to take a train too.<br /><br />Anything could happen at any time but never does.<br /><br />Every moment of silence I close my eyes.<br /><br />The wrong situation I have bravery and the right one I don't.<br /><br />Every chakra wracked in pain.<br /><br />then she asked anything else blink anything else blinkcarrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-76610557870706889692009-10-04T09:31:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:49:22.477-08:00Week 48<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending October 3</span><br /><br /><br />Every headache is the same headache.<br /><br />It may have been convoluted on my part.<br /><br />some sort of reality edging<br /><br />I have weird abilities.<br /><br />Everything is beautiful and everything ends.<br /><br />only the moment in a yogic way can save me<br /><br />One of those hypersensitive. Oh.<br /><br />My device is irrelevant.<br /><br />The pages I've skipped, leaving blank.<br /><br />"Their lies enough"<br /><br />Slept hard and fuzzy.<br /><br />I kept saying to myself, I'll try harder, <br />and a voice says try less.<br /><br />Dreamt I was leaving the castle.<br />It was a nice walk and I was happy.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-10967289339819468262009-09-27T19:34:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:50:56.147-08:00Week 47<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending September 26</span><br /><br /><br />John Wieners writing in html.<br /><br />Everything in an autumn equinox during the autumn equinox.<br /><br />The moon is having a human being parade.<br /><br />Agni sara<br /><br />"hell is not hell"<br /><br />Now you don't see anything but yourself at night.<br /><br />The subject is the audience.<br /><br />Hyperconsciousness a violence.<br /><br />You know what they say about bending over backwards for people.<br /><br />"It's a gamble right?"<br /><br />"Yeah, but it wouldn't matter<br />because she's dead."<br /><br />I want to hear hold music.<br /><br />Every daydream a device.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-53883791038705424162009-09-20T12:37:00.000-07:002009-09-20T12:42:25.904-07:00Week 46<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending September 19</span><br /><br />A voice says don't write that!<br /><br />Pluto's gone straight.<br /><br />They are doing so through disempowerment.<br /><br />They will say you are talking too fast.<br /><br />The consciousness it takes to know what would hurt someone else.<br /><br />Ate tofu mixed with meat and vegetables.<br /><br />in the cold Sunset rain, nostalgia for<br /><br />The window is almost completely shut.<br /><br />Wide awake at midnight.<br /><br />Why would you get out of rehab and go to a wedding?<br /><br />Two matches; Or, things I'm going to burn.<br /><br />The reason for something is much less interesting than the fact of said something's existence, which tells you everything you need to know.<br /><br />Maybe the heat will pop it.<br /><br />I'll never have to go to Walgreens again.<br /><br />So he created himself in me.<br /><br />Weight 124, heartbeat 79, blood pressure 100/66, temperature 98.1.<br /><br />Wish I had an orange.<br /><br />I woke up at 5:45 AM & I felt like they were watching me & I should just leave.<br /><br />My suitcase was as light as a feather.<br /><br />List of Almost Faintings.<br /><br />Wiener's The Windowscarrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-65098012676313750172009-09-15T20:52:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:52:59.404-08:00Week 45<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending September 12</span><br /><br />The fact of cruelty.<br /><br />Finally got a broom.<br /><br />so many dreams live lost<br /><br />I have every sexual power.<br /><br />for the trees over and over<br /><br />Nostalgia is a form of violence to the present.<br /><br />Stuffed animals as first sexual experiences.<br /><br />the secret point after all<br /><br />"Got tired of starting from square one over and over again."<br /><br />At least its not that day anymore.<br /><br />My top key fell out.<br /><br />Slugging back straight apple cider vinegar.<br /><br />even if they don't think they docarrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-37220629815042302642009-09-06T20:02:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:54:01.378-08:00Week 44<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending September 5</span><br /><br />"Do your practice and all is coming."<br /><br />Beauty is ethical.<br />Debt is a form of violence.<br /><br />Meditated for a long time and feel like a snail.<br /><br />Saw a bright blue cone, neon blue.<br /><br />Oakland is good for remembering dreams.<br /><br />I hope it is the solution <br />as I want it to be the solution and to never go back.<br /><br />I guess I'll just wait for it to go into my brain and I'll die.<br /><br />I always feel like Lurch in the Addams Family, shaking my head <br />in disbelief and annoyance.<br /><br />I'm wearing my butterfly shirt, symbolizing lost souls.<br /><br />And then I realized if I'm fast forwarding through a movie,<br />maybe I should just turn it off.<br /><br />Dreamt of the Tin Man, and I was trying to find him a heart.<br />Maybe I'm always Diana Ross in my subconscious.<br /><br />An overzealous beginning leads to a leaden ending.<br /><br />I want fried okra.<br /><br />(straddled across a park bench)<br /><br />she decided to let them have their personality<br /><br />How aesthetics commingles with social mores.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-51476961325397440072009-08-30T17:33:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:55:26.378-08:00Week 43<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending August 29</span><br /><br />I unplugged last night.<br /><br />It feels too simple and I want it to be more complex.<br /><br />My doctor is named Heidi and has a braid.<br /><br />All day obsessed with John Wieners, want to plaster pictures of him poster sized all over my room, like a movie star, which he kind of is.<br /><br />the reason women always need to talk and men never do is <br /><br />Lazy people annoy me because my own laziness annoys me.<br /><br />I try to think of suicide and I cannot.<br /><br />Worry prevents things from happening but fear makes them happen.<br /><br />Corpse pose dream of finding a bucket full of stars.<br /><br />I wanted sunflower seeds but bought boston baked beans.<br /><br />Reading exist as exit.<br /><br />A list of projects.<br /><br />And he kept saying dirty ass bitch over and over.<br /><br />A feeling like the frog is listening.<br /><br />I don't want to know it and want to keep it new forever.<br /><br />Maybe I'm just *walking* through hell. And where is Virgil?carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-73791665444965267812009-08-23T12:57:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:57:56.683-08:00Week 42<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending August 22</span><br /><br />If I quit drinking and start going to bed at a decent hour.<br /><br />In my unconscious states, I always have a job I love.<br /><br />the I'm going to faint or throw up feeling<br /><br />I would like to get a bicycle.<br /><br />My left ear is still fucked up.<br /><br />And I looked out my window —<br />which was my childhood bedroom window —<br />and I indeed saw a frog hopping away.<br /><br />The clues lead to inconclusivity.<br /><br />"Disenchantment of the concept is the antidote of philosophy."<br /><br />So good at surfaces.<br /><br />Then all these reliefs come.<br /><br />"empathically reversed gracelessness"<br /><br />I would've done anything and I did.<br /><br />Not sure if I'm holding the scales or some abstraction is.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-14215149453563970262009-08-16T15:15:00.000-07:002010-01-03T12:59:15.160-08:00Week 41<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending August 15</span><br /><br />The 4 questions.<br /><br />and the mat room had accidentally locked<br /><br />The unnameable messes itself.<br /><br />thinking of shadows<br /><br />A gentle breeze. A discipline.<br /><br />Afraid the Knight of Swords is really the King of Swords.<br /><br />How I'd wished he'd just waited and so I wait.<br /><br />The trick is to love your life whatever it is.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-64464377760422007792009-08-09T10:59:00.000-07:002009-08-09T11:55:38.264-07:00Week 40<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending August 8</span><br /><br />Not even sure what I'm supposed to be processing.<br /><br />I love how I think my way out of a depression.<br /><br />Discovering a silver watch.<br /><br />"I believe in the rising window."<br /><br />Everything discolored.<br /><br />Jersey knit sheets.<br /><br />Honeymoon is over.<br /><br />Based on my recent non-interest in my previous self, pretty sure my future self will be completely uninterested in this present self.<br /><br />In the giving away mood.<br /><br />Even though what's going to happen is not what's going to happen.<br /><br />I could be happy with simply ice cream.<br /><br />The typewriter is a harpsichord.<br /><br />Despair covers everything.<br /><br />If we talked about it, maybe it would dissipate.<br /><br />Keep forgetting when my appointments are.<br /><br />Hope of a future hope.<br /><br />A love letter misinterpreted as ordinariness.<br /><br />If a cup of tea could change your life.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-10168191107413199442009-08-02T16:03:00.000-07:002009-08-02T16:29:26.459-07:00Week 39<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending August 1</span><br /><br />He said something about the fifth person.<br /><br />Broken skin.<br /><br />The fear of nothing is more the fear than anything else.<br /><br />Impossible, impossible, day.<br /><br />Everything was miserable and then everything was wonderful, and then everything was OK.<br /><br />I wonder if it makes more sense in Swedish.<br />A reference to her having to be invited.<br /><br />The last night; last night, was too much.<br /><br />I am on probation.<br /><br />I defeated the fear of the kitchen stove.<br /><br />Maybe that is communication.<br /><br />Creating social conditions in which life can be lived in a human way.<br /><br />Welcoming identitylessness.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-61487842572900079852009-07-26T15:04:00.000-07:002009-07-26T15:20:57.663-07:00Week 38<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending July 25</span><br /><br />Entrance is entering.<br /><br />Everything empty except for that which needs to be emptied.<br /><br />Dreaming dreams.<br /><br />"Like a riot, not a show."<br /><br />A list of things I threw away, and cramps.<br /><br />All kinds of things interfering with my daydreaming.<br /><br />Enmeshed in emotional states.<br /><br />I don't often think about the fact that I'm a woman in a political way.<br /><br />A list of directions to places.<br /><br />If you can say "a case."<br /><br />So that is fear issue #2.<br /><br />Need steam.<br /><br />& I want to tell stories.<br /><br />Rockets are the only thing I can think of.<br /><br />I could use a box cutter.<br /><br />The time line is disintegrating.<br /><br />I hear speeding motors and dramatic music.<br /><br />Finally, I'm processing something.<br /><br />It would actually be a good conversation to have.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-69860912080284669682009-07-19T16:38:00.001-07:002009-07-19T16:39:55.384-07:00Week 37<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending July 18</span><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnZnsPiG9GUJlOaSlc4IJngZrNjAuFWaII69BwhW08AziwzDgf8YUWzZJJZDPBcIUqUvmyxRPprpmEWuytHioDRqeiBnw5ccx9FCuQzCGphqVbsQA8bvpEkZbWqj0CDX6WzceIyI0RFakF/s1600-h/oakland+001.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnZnsPiG9GUJlOaSlc4IJngZrNjAuFWaII69BwhW08AziwzDgf8YUWzZJJZDPBcIUqUvmyxRPprpmEWuytHioDRqeiBnw5ccx9FCuQzCGphqVbsQA8bvpEkZbWqj0CDX6WzceIyI0RFakF/s320/oakland+001.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360319986649807298" /></a>carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-32589488791876758972009-07-19T16:28:00.000-07:002010-01-03T13:01:54.729-08:00Week 36<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending July 11</span><br /><br />Dreamt of the "weight room."<br /><br />Went and got some Ginger and Cola $3.03.<br /><br />One box that'd been for matches, one for beer, and one, mexican spices.<br /><br />No one laughs.<br /><br />Crying in the Monet room.<br /><br />Hearing raspberry tea and imaging blueberry instead.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkrH6F-ViLnZrMaISqVjuXFFvI8hc8oQfVhej0VmR2if6KwEbPhE9E__BcODvQwTOKMeb2IeQPVTPHLh2SSWgRgRKb4ZeyMw-xN-sf8Ox6TAlbI6_h4EatwZOgoiESSsZNIW751phdTxdh/s1600-h/hodler+day+truth.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 95px; height: 143px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkrH6F-ViLnZrMaISqVjuXFFvI8hc8oQfVhej0VmR2if6KwEbPhE9E__BcODvQwTOKMeb2IeQPVTPHLh2SSWgRgRKb4ZeyMw-xN-sf8Ox6TAlbI6_h4EatwZOgoiESSsZNIW751phdTxdh/s320/hodler+day+truth.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360319259176506898" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMbUcY0ceHgLcud0KS3xz9cBLWzrXCdT_d2hb4PRAzX6KF_Aco8KPmAFd6y7J1VB8PlhuMa09QXPwEa_fJuFEAuu2mc5ptKc49bGRmNxkuSyXNsE9Gf2uuV4ElgENO3cb6q00WwyeAlXf/s1600-h/monet+branch+of+the+seine+near.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 127px; height: 122px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvMbUcY0ceHgLcud0KS3xz9cBLWzrXCdT_d2hb4PRAzX6KF_Aco8KPmAFd6y7J1VB8PlhuMa09QXPwEa_fJuFEAuu2mc5ptKc49bGRmNxkuSyXNsE9Gf2uuV4ElgENO3cb6q00WwyeAlXf/s320/monet+branch+of+the+seine+near.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360319033029716722" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3gQU1itafe8TZZerdx-pbhQ-s4YaGjd5WHM0Q9m43h7iHNvub1xthzM4CDqYeK_b7YTECZTmhlQwJ2TO7WnQcp9FqqX6e_hOr-e4uTLOtv_Kj22JZZIcVso6eY6fu9PREHr4USyOX-VSx/s1600-h/monet+apples+and+grapes.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 132px; height: 99px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3gQU1itafe8TZZerdx-pbhQ-s4YaGjd5WHM0Q9m43h7iHNvub1xthzM4CDqYeK_b7YTECZTmhlQwJ2TO7WnQcp9FqqX6e_hOr-e4uTLOtv_Kj22JZZIcVso6eY6fu9PREHr4USyOX-VSx/s320/monet+apples+and+grapes.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360318818560511266" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeY2qDCjixznGB_pVj3AC_3zBqWzmXq_3wc3sIb9ltnFHAZBRy63cJqgrfgFR-rWY2IrchtqaDRV1-RmjLawNPrvrzP8eWCNCXTb4Vn3ajbvnhEtvwgmV4HO2krxwBGAW4YDaNkjMe2Iw/s1600-h/renoir.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 103px; height: 133px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEeY2qDCjixznGB_pVj3AC_3zBqWzmXq_3wc3sIb9ltnFHAZBRy63cJqgrfgFR-rWY2IrchtqaDRV1-RmjLawNPrvrzP8eWCNCXTb4Vn3ajbvnhEtvwgmV4HO2krxwBGAW4YDaNkjMe2Iw/s320/renoir.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5360318585854859106" /></a>carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-34955459095261561532009-07-05T13:36:00.000-07:002010-01-03T13:02:46.837-08:00Week 35<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending July 4</span><br /><br />If it's near my bed, I'm going to put books in it.<br /><br />Think of it lightly.<br /><br />"Deployment of the solution will be scheduled."<br /><br />"You worry too much."<br /><br />The trick to being not stressed out by stress is to not not be stressed and then stress is your normal state and it doesn't bother you.<br /><br />And he said "You are in the right place."<br /><br />"Do you have this in Libra?"<br /><br />I'm going to go to one even if one doesn't exist.<br /><br />Weird specificity of the shower.<br /><br />Why doesn't someone save the fish.<br /><br />"Each flashback was an explanation."<br /><br />A frightening peace.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-5062318683034145112009-06-28T18:37:00.000-07:002009-06-28T18:43:59.678-07:00Week 34<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending June 27</span><br /><br />Drank 3 glasses of wine, and ate a cream puff.<br /><br />Because happiness is not in me.<br /><br />"Call me no longer Naomi"<br /><br />I clapped 59 times.<br /><br />Three hearts glued together so I tore the top two off.<br /><br />There is nothing predictable.<br /><br />What we could have done together, I did alone.<br /><br />Johnson's Baby Shampoo smell.<br /><br />It is hard to express my feelings.<br /> <br />dwi pada.<br /><br />Should eat more nectarines.<br /><br />Yuppie ranting: "I get up early in the morning to make my money, how about you?"<br />Homeless person ranting: "When you look into the mirror what do you see?"<br /><br />Adagio becomes adagietto.<br /><br />So I was waiting for the conversation to end.<br /><br />My butterfly and Jack Spicer's butterfly duking it out.<br /><br />All my despairs, my own fault.<br /><br />If this were a lullaby.<br /><br />I told God he was funny.<br /><br />The bells are ringing.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-8585136016491537922009-06-21T13:28:00.000-07:002010-01-03T13:04:12.729-08:00Week 33<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending June 20</span><br /><br />"Kind of like a coda"<br /><br />I asked can you hear me and she said, what?<br /><br />Well maybe the first thing is worse.<br /><br />The type of woman who feels more confident by announcing her fears.<br /><br />This is the first day all week I feel kind of rested.<br /><br />Continuously grateful and out of focus.<br /><br />Trying to leave the future behind.<br /><br />I feel dizzy.<br /><br />"The ritual is I get out my drumsticks."<br /><br />repertoire hedging<br />eyelash shadows<br /><br />"Remember what happened to Pygmalion."carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-86836860396162481682009-06-14T15:22:00.000-07:002009-06-14T15:24:23.635-07:00Week 32<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending June 13</span><br /><br />Everyone is swimming in the most inappropriate places.<br /><br />Someone explain the presence of helicopters.<br /><br />How the tambourine used to terrify me.<br /><br />falling in the sand dune, naked, an earthquake<br /><br />In this equivalency I would be much neater.<br /><br />But I would have nowhere to sit.<br /><br />Nothing seems clearer in the morning.<br /><br />I'm always in a forest.<br /><br />There is so much to do only <br />because I am not distinguishing.<br /><br />The most intermediary space.<br /><br />The secret, is a secret.<br /><br />Everyone is talking about fireballs and there are books already.<br /><br />I told her every story except the true one.<br /><br />"Signlessness;the non-conceptualization of things"<br /><br />Ideas are a placemat.<br /><br />I don't like that problem.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-60984221904334952142009-06-07T14:02:00.000-07:002009-06-07T14:38:03.500-07:00Week 31<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending June 6</span><br /><br />Dreamed I had an inability to take out the trash and trash was falling in from upstairs; half eaten soups under someone's chair, etc.<br /><br />Someone told me the guy had cut off the fleshy parts of her toes, to torture her.<br /><br />This is not the worst thing by far.<br /><br />"The trees are dead."<br /><br />The romanticization of swings.<br /><br />This saha world, and sad that I've woken up.<br /><br />"Everybody knows the house always wins."<br /><br />Can't stop thinking about Maud Gonne.<br /><br />There is a lot of this this week.<br /><br />{{{_____________________________}}}<br /><br />I don't like it when you speak of phoneme sequencing.<br /><br />Realizing it won't ever add up.<br /><br />I've said more than I thought I had.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-81984639616728633792009-05-31T12:57:00.000-07:002009-05-31T13:12:57.047-07:00Week 30<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending May 30</span><br /><br />Fortune tellers grabbing my hands everywhere I go.<br /><br />A completely nonverbal dream.<br /><br />Naked, up all night, in the kitchen, on the floor, eating jars and jars of Gnutella.<br /><br />Like a day long heart attack, but I never die.<br /><br />He encourages falling.<br /><br />The ink used to print it was extremely dangerous, but I wanted it anyway. Even if it killed me.<br /><br />The state of being a woman, and what cannot be escaped.<br /><br />Testing the waters is delusionary, because there is no water.<br /><br />I want to read everything I see instantly.<br /><br />I cannot hear but instead feel the slammed door.<br /><br />I have lots and lots and lots of tape.<br /><br />Because I am right at my limit.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-17385829057266663352009-05-26T08:51:00.000-07:002009-05-26T08:57:21.134-07:00Week 29<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending May 23</span><br /><br />Wanting to hear the audience more than those on stage.<br /><br />all words words words and then we realize we haven't been teaching them images and so they have no idea how to process images.<br /><br />The question I don't dare ask.<br /><br />I could see all the people I was passing were looking though me, not seeing me.<br /><br />It was a poetry reading with a theme.<br /><br />I know she came into my dream so I would call her.<br /><br />We have more of an audience than we ever did.<br /><br />Intermingling calves, and whether to give up desire for pleasure.<br /><br />Everyone is reading.carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3407993675728491078.post-47838717417321587042009-05-18T08:55:00.000-07:002009-05-18T08:57:24.316-07:00Week 28<span style="font-weight:bold;">Week ending May 16</span><br /><br /><br />I will never get enough sleep.<br /><br />If I had normal time to occupy. <br /><br />Bargaining with dreams.<br /><br />Go read what I wrote, it's funny.<br /><br />I've forgotten the lyric or she is after someone else<br />and this this is what wants me.<br /><br />The misery of sitting.<br /><br />Then my phone buzzed and woke me up.<br /><br />Wish I had something I never returned.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Cannon fodder<br />a kind of crepuscular lethargy<br />as if overnight he had surreptitiously gained twenty pounds<br />Mickey, like the mouse<br />history, which is a simple whore<br />retronourished</span><br /><br />I probably didn't say the right things.<br /><br />The coffee tastes weird but maybe its the soymilk.<br /><br />Tomorrow everything ends.<br /><br />I admitted to doing something very bad today.<br /><br />A narrative film is not like a narrative poem.<br /><br />I have to figure out a way to not feel what I'm feeling.<br /><br />What is too dramatic and what is not dramatic enough?carrie hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17352324263810007643noreply@blogger.com