Week 43

Week ending August 29

I unplugged last night.

It feels too simple and I want it to be more complex.

My doctor is named Heidi and has a braid.

All day obsessed with John Wieners, want to plaster pictures of him poster sized all over my room, like a movie star, which he kind of is.

the reason women always need to talk and men never do is

Lazy people annoy me because my own laziness annoys me.

I try to think of suicide and I cannot.

Worry prevents things from happening but fear makes them happen.

Corpse pose dream of finding a bucket full of stars.

I wanted sunflower seeds but bought boston baked beans.

Reading exist as exit.

A list of projects.

And he kept saying dirty ass bitch over and over.

A feeling like the frog is listening.

I don't want to know it and want to keep it new forever.

Maybe I'm just *walking* through hell. And where is Virgil?

Week 42

Week ending August 22

If I quit drinking and start going to bed at a decent hour.

In my unconscious states, I always have a job I love.

the I'm going to faint or throw up feeling

I would like to get a bicycle.

My left ear is still fucked up.

And I looked out my window —
which was my childhood bedroom window —
and I indeed saw a frog hopping away.

The clues lead to inconclusivity.

"Disenchantment of the concept is the antidote of philosophy."

So good at surfaces.

Then all these reliefs come.

"empathically reversed gracelessness"

I would've done anything and I did.

Not sure if I'm holding the scales or some abstraction is.

Week 41

Week ending August 15

The 4 questions.

and the mat room had accidentally locked

The unnameable messes itself.

thinking of shadows

A gentle breeze. A discipline.

Afraid the Knight of Swords is really the King of Swords.

How I'd wished he'd just waited and so I wait.

The trick is to love your life whatever it is.

Week 40

Week ending August 8

Not even sure what I'm supposed to be processing.

I love how I think my way out of a depression.

Discovering a silver watch.

"I believe in the rising window."

Everything discolored.

Jersey knit sheets.

Honeymoon is over.

Based on my recent non-interest in my previous self, pretty sure my future self will be completely uninterested in this present self.

In the giving away mood.

Even though what's going to happen is not what's going to happen.

I could be happy with simply ice cream.

The typewriter is a harpsichord.

Despair covers everything.

If we talked about it, maybe it would dissipate.

Keep forgetting when my appointments are.

Hope of a future hope.

A love letter misinterpreted as ordinariness.

If a cup of tea could change your life.

Week 39

Week ending August 1

He said something about the fifth person.

Broken skin.

The fear of nothing is more the fear than anything else.

Impossible, impossible, day.

Everything was miserable and then everything was wonderful, and then everything was OK.

I wonder if it makes more sense in Swedish.
A reference to her having to be invited.

The last night; last night, was too much.

I am on probation.

I defeated the fear of the kitchen stove.

Maybe that is communication.

Creating social conditions in which life can be lived in a human way.

Welcoming identitylessness.